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Writer's pictureMolly Ann Carruth

Th Green Milk Is Reptilian

Updated: Oct 6

“Try the new apple-flavored milk for the holidays! It tastes like a warm Dutch apple pie. Mmmmmm. Go get some right now at your nearest grocery store,” the commercial advised.


“Green milk, why green?! Couldn’t it be a sort of cinnamon brown because it’s apple pie? It feels gross in a way,” Pamela stated with distaste on her face.


“I’m sure it’s aimed at getting kids to drink more healthy stuff. It’s just like the pumpkin spice Cheerios aimed towards the warm, cozy, fuzzy crowd. Just one demographic and it’s a huge demographic,” Terry replied. “You don’t have to try it. But part of me kind of wants to, to see how close they got to the flavor.”


“Well, we’ll try it when we get back from vacation. Until then, I guess you’ll have to just dream about it. We’re leaving today, no chance. You’re not messing with fate by drinking it before a twelve-hour plane ride. NO CHANCE!”, she explained, bringing a sense of foresight to seem to put things into perspective.


Weeks went by, and they returned from the islands.


The airport was way more vacant than it should have been. Milk jugs were lying around everywhere. That same gross bright green-looking liquid was spilled in small puddles throughout.


“What’s that emerging from the puddle? It looks like… a frog and a lizard….”


“There are more of them!” Mary yelled.


The more they looked, the more they noticed they were everywhere. But no humans. Hardly any humans in sight. “What happened!?” Terry said.


A man was waving them down in the far corner of the airport. "Maybe he might know something. But we don't even know him!" Mary explained.


“But he seems to be the only one who might know what the hell is going on, and so far, no one else is around. So let’s just go!” Terry replied.


They followed the man into a tower far into the middle of the airport. He shut the door behind him and asked, “Were you followed or have you talked or heard from anyone else?” the man questioned.


“No, it’s just us. We went on vacation and then we came back, and this is what we found. Can you tell us what you know? What happened?”, Mary asked.


“The green milk, I didn’t think it would be so simple as green milk that causes the change. But it did. At first, all the kids drank it and they were hooked, and then the adults started to change. I don’t think they drank the milk; I think it was the contact they were having during that time interacting with the children. It altered them by flipping on a switch that only exists in reptiles, goats, and some humans. The dorsal mechanism is based on the videos of the fainting goat that everyone got a kick out of. Well, when you faint, a switch flips on sort of like a switch in an electrical box in the basement. When that switch flipped, they reverted to the primal state, reptilian and amphibious. And you get a world of frogs and lizards. The world played dead, it woke up, and now the world can’t bring any more harm to itself. Problem solved? Until we run out of insects or we get an ice age,” the man explained.


"Who started this?" Mary asked.


“No one really knew; it just appeared one day. I imagine it was an experiment out of one of the corporate labs and somehow got into the wrong hands, so they decided to go through with it. Either way, this is the world now. I guess we can be alright with the world warming now that we are reptiles.”

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